crisis

God has been taking me once again deal with the fundamental questions of our faith. We could call this process as crisis. 

I have received once again some revelations about some basic truths of our life. 

1) I am sinner. That's the nature of Adam living in me. I can't do anything good by myself. And I'll never be able to do. I can try my best to not to sin, but the law of sin and death will win me sooner or later.

2) God knows my reality and He always did. He couldn't wait anything good from me and that's why He sent His son to pay my debts completaly when I was still His enemy. I am forgiven.

3) Even though I'm forgiven God doesn't expect anything from me because I still live in this fallen body and soul even though my spirit has been renewed. That's why He sent the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Chirst's perfection to live in me. He does everything in me I'm not able to do by myself. 

4) God loves me. He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me. 

I can do nothing to make Him love me less. I can do nothing to make Him love me more.

Doesn't sound anything new right? However I have noticed once again how I struggle to believe these basic truths and live according them. I still struggle to fully believe I'm forgiven and loved. It's still so easy to try to do things on my own strength.

All these revelations are amazing! We know that every crisis are important in order to grow up. However let me tell you something. It's everything but easy and pleasant to understand your sinfulness and the corruption of your heart. For God's sake it hurts!

However in the midst of the brokenness we can see His love clearer and deeper than ever before. 

It's easy to get frustrated because I haven't yet internalized these basic truths. But to be honest I'm so grateful God let me to this place once again. 

I am loved. I have peace. 

I can't do it. I don't need to do it.